Breaking the Cycle: Understanding and Healing Intergenerational Trauma in South Asian Families

Tanvi Sharma
Feb 21
6 min read

Intergenerational trauma is often an invisible burden, a silent inheritance passed down through families. Unlike individual trauma, which results from a single event, intergenerational trauma is cumulative, affecting generations in ways they may not even recognize.

In South Asian families, trauma is deeply tied to historical, social, and cultural structures. The effects of colonial rule, partition, caste discrimination, gender oppression, and rigid family expectations have shaped how emotions, relationships, and resilience are understood within families. The wounds left by these experiences can manifest in emotional suppression, unrealistic expectations, and dysfunctional relationship patterns that persist across generations.

But the cycle can be broken. This blog will explore what intergenerational trauma is, how it manifests in South Asian families, how we internalize it, and most importantly: how we can begin to heal.

What is Intergenerational Trauma?

Intergenerational trauma, or transgenerational trauma, refers to the psychological, emotional, and behavioral patterns that are unconsciously passed from one generation to the next due to unresolved trauma.

How Does It Happen?

Trauma doesn’t just impact an individual—it alters family dynamics. When a person experiences severe trauma, such as war, forced migration, or abuse, their coping mechanisms often involve emotional suppression, hyper-vigilance, or maladaptive behaviors. These survival strategies then get passed down to children, who internalize them as normal ways of functioning.

What Causes Intergenerational Trauma in South Asian Families?

South Asian communities have endured multiple historical and socio-political traumas, including:

Colonization and Partition – British rule in South Asia led to political and economic instability, while the Partition of 1947 caused mass violence, forced displacement, and intergenerational mistrust between communities.
Caste-based Discrimination – Systemic inequality based on caste has left marginalized communities struggling with internalized inferiority, generational poverty, and lack of access to education or opportunity.
Gender Oppression & Patriarchy – South Asian women have historically been silenced, controlled, and denied autonomy, leading to a generational pattern of women being expected to endure suffering for the sake of family honor.
War, Riots, and Political Turmoil – Events like the Sri Lankan Civil War, the Bangladesh Liberation War, and the 1984 anti-Sikh riots have left psychological scars on survivors and their descendants.
Family Migration & Cultural Guilt – Many South Asians who immigrated to Western countries had to navigate racism, economic struggles, and cultural alienation, often leading to emotional suppression and unspoken resentment.

When these traumatic experiences are left unresolved, they create a cycle in which unprocessed emotions and survival strategies are passed down, shaping the next generation’s behavior and mental health. Research by Yehuda & Bierer (2008) found that children of trauma survivors exhibit heightened stress responses, even if they never directly experienced the original trauma.

How Trauma Manifests in South Asian Families

The transmission of trauma happens subtly, often disguised as cultural values, parental expectations, or family traditions. Here are some key ways intergenerational trauma shows up:

Emotional Repression & Silence

Many South Asian families avoid discussing difficult emotions due to cultural beliefs that vulnerability is a weakness. Some common phrases that shut down emotional expression include:

“We don’t talk about these things.”
“Stop crying, be strong.”
“You have food and shelter—why are you sad?”

A study by Kapadia et al. (2021) found that South Asians report higher levels of emotional suppression due to cultural stigma around mental health.

High Expectations & Conditional Love

Success is often seen as a way to restore family pride and social mobility. Parents who struggled financially or faced discrimination push their children toward perfectionism and overachievement. Common struggles for the children can be:

Feeling unworthy unless achieving academic/career success.
Parents using comparison as motivation (“Your cousin is a doctor, why can’t you be like them?”).
Believing that failure makes you a disappointment rather than an opportunity for growth.

Gendered Trauma & Suppression of Women

Women in South Asian families often inherit generational wounds related to oppression and sacrifice. How this manifests:

Guilt for prioritizing personal dreams over family duties.
Pressure to endure toxic relationships for family honor.
Shame around discussing topics like body image, menstruation, or sexual health.

South Asian women are disproportionately affected by depression and anxiety due to cultural restrictions on autonomy (Choudhry, 2001).

Parentification & Role Reversals

In many South Asian households, the eldest child (especially daughters) is expected to act as a second parent, often taking on responsibilities far beyond their age. Signs of parentification can be:

Taking care of younger siblings from a young age.
Managing parental emotions (“Don’t upset your father, he’s already stressed.”).
Feeling like you had to grow up too fast.

A study by Sangalang & Gee (2015) found that children who take on caregiver roles in immigrant families are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, and emotional burnout.

How We Internalize the Trauma

Intergenerational trauma doesn’t just shape family dynamics, it also deeply impacts an individual’s self-perception, relationships, and emotional well-being. When children grow up in a trauma-shaped environment, they unconsciously absorb unspoken rules, survival mechanisms, and emotional burdens. These patterns become ingrained in their identity, shaping the way they navigate life.

Here are some of the most common ways trauma manifests internally:

Hyper-Independence: "I can't rely on anyone but myself."
Hyper-independence often stems from growing up in an environment where vulnerability was met with neglect, ridicule, or punishment. Children who experience inconsistent emotional support learn to suppress their needs, believing that asking for help makes them weak, needy, or burdensome.
Fear of Failure: "If I fail, I am worthless."
For many South Asian children, success is not just a personal achievement—it’s a measure of worthiness and family pride. When children grow up in environments where love and validation feel conditional upon success, they internalize a deep-seated fear of failure.
Perfectionism: "If I’m not perfect, I’m not lovable."
Perfectionism is often a coping mechanism learned in childhood. When children feel only "perfect" behavior is rewarded, they grow up striving for unrealistic standards. This often leads to burnout, self-criticism, and chronic dissatisfaction.
People-Pleasing: "My worth is based on how much I do for others."
People-pleasing is often a survival response. When children grow up in homes where peace depended on their ability to keep others happy, they learn to prioritize others’ needs over their own, often at the cost of their well-being.
Emotional Numbing: "I don’t know how to feel."
In trauma-affected families, expressing emotions, especially sadness, anger, or vulnerability, may have been discouraged or punished. As a result, children learn to suppress their emotions, leading to emotional disconnection in adulthood.

Breaking the Cycle: Healing Intergenerational Trauma

Healing requires awareness, self-compassion, and intentional action.

Acknowledge the Trauma
Identify patterns of emotional suppression, fear, or pressure in your family.
Validate that your experiences are real and worthy of healing.
Set Boundaries with Family
Learn to say no to toxic expectations.
Recognize that you do not have to sacrifice yourself to be loved.
Practice Self-Compassion
Shift from self-criticism to self-acceptance.
Reframe mistakes as learning experiences, not failures.
Engage in Therapy & Inner Work
Seek therapists who understand South Asian cultural dynamics.
Work on inner child healing and reparenting techniques.
Break the Cycle for Future Generations
Foster open emotional communication with children.
Teach them that love is not conditional on success.

Healing from intergenerational trauma isn’t easy, but it is possible. By breaking harmful patterns, we don’t just free ourselves, we create a healthier legacy for future generations. Healing takes time, but every step is a step toward freedom.

At The Mind Practice, we offer culturally sensitive therapy to help individuals heal from intergenerational trauma. You are not alone. Reach out today to start your journey.

Scroll to the end for some book recommendations on the topic. Also visit www.themindpractice.in for more such insightful articles!

References:

Yehuda, R., & Lehrner, A. (2018). "Intergenerational Transmission of Trauma Effects: Putative Role of Epigenetic Mechanisms." World Psychiatry, 17(3), 243–257.

Kellermann, N. P. (2001). "Transmission of Holocaust Trauma: An Integrative View." Psychiatry, 64(3), 256–267.

Danieli, Y. (1998). "Intergenerational Aspects of Trauma and the Reinvention of Meaning." In Y. Danieli (Ed.), International Handbook of Multigenerational Legacies of Trauma (pp. 59-83).

Kumar, U., & Mandal, M. K. (2018). "Cultural and Contextual Aspects of Trauma and Coping in South Asia." Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 49(5), 713–730.

Bhugra, D., & Becker, M. A. (2005). "Migration, Cultural Bereavement, and Cultural Identity." World Psychiatry, 4(1), 18–24.

Kaimal, G., & Ray, K. (2017). "The Role of Art Therapy in Addressing Intergenerational Trauma in Indian Families." Arts in Psychotherapy, 54, 69-77.

Narvaez, D., Wang, L., & Cheng, A. (2016). "The Evolved Developmental Niche: Advancing Developmental Science." Applied Developmental Science, 20(4), 251-268.

Interesting books on the topic:

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk
When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress by Gabor Maté